Tuesday, October 20, 2015

life lessons.choices and booze.

"ek grawe na my hart en in my vlees om myself te herinner dat ek nog iets kan voel"


as i sit here writing this it is apparent that i have been through so much this year, and my birthday is coming up.. i remember the girl i used to be in my previous life, and yes i'm referring to it as my "previous life" because that girl does not exist anymore, she has been fundamentally changed within, her views, her attitude, and the way she will be handling situations and people in the future. i have learned a few hard lessons this year, i have lost the most important element in my life and i have been changed for the better, to not make the same mistakes again...but also how to survive rock bottom.

a few lessons i have learned this year.

imagining scenarios that will never happen, is just that. so stop imagining and make peace with what you have and had, that it will never be retrieved. so taste your words before you spit them out.  accept your new normal. ever seen a kid holding a grudge? they don't, they are looking for the next tree to climb. so do just that. start climbing trees.

the human brain.
 nature makes a beautiful machine, it allows you to recover after an accident. your body can heal dead tissue and regenerate into something stronger. but no medicine can ever heal what is physically or emotionally broken, broken heart, broken fairy tales or broken memories, so don't dull what you are supposed to feel with substances,or anything else for that matter, that will just prolong your healing process and just fuck you up more. period. so dive, head first. GERONIMO.

when you wake up and your mouth tastes like pavement, you try to remind yourself that you are a fighter, but yet you still stare at the railroad tracks, stop staring. it can't help you get to the other side, you have to do that all by your little lonesome, so get up and start walking.


you can never take back how you made people feel in a moment, so be wise with that moment, calm, cool and collected, people might not always respect your feelings, but that does not mean you should not  respect theirs...

those forced friendships never last and they will fail, sooner rather than later, so trust your intuition and learn to listen. come to terms with the fact that there is darkness in this world, and it comes in forms that you least expect it, from people you least expect.

i have learned how to appreciate the silence and the voices. the incredible yearning for someone.

i have learned how to get through the regrets and the should haves,
 what if's and why's.

 i still believe in love  (ignore the rolling eyes for a minute) and where there is love it will triumph and find it's way either back or where it should have been in the first place.

i appreciate everyone who helped me get to 28, for a moment there it was touch and go.
thank you for being part of my story and part of my new life.


cheers 28. it's been good.

3 comments:

  1. Sterkte voorentoe lig net ken op en laat loop voorentoe met nuwe mense en uitdagings in jou lewe!!
    What a legend she is!!

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  3. Wyse woorde, harde lesse..en die wonderlike ontdekking dat die krag om aan te gaan, nog altyd iewers diep binne elkeen van ons skuil. Soms vind ons dit net in die donkerste nagte...

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