Wednesday, July 28, 2010

hush my love..

Hush my love now don’t you cry
Everything will be all right
Close your eyes and drift in dream Rest in peaceful sleep

If there’s one thing I hope I showed you
Hope I showed you Just give love to all

Oh my love…in my arms tight Every day you give me life As I drift off to your world Will rest in peaceful sleep
I know there’s one thing that you showed me
That you showed me
Just give love to all Let’s give love to all
Creed- lullaby

it's been a while..

It's been a while Since I could hold my head up high
and it's been a while Since I first saw you
It's been a while since i could stand on my own two feet again and it's been a while since i could call you
But everything I can't remember as fucked up as it may seem the consequences that I've rendered I've stretched myself beyond my means
It's been a while since i could say that i wasn't addicted and It's been a while Since I could say I love myself as well and
It's been a while Since I've gone and fucked things up just like i always do
It's been a while ...
Why must i feel this way? just make this go away just one more peaceful day
Its been awhile Since I could look at myself straight and it's been a while since i said i'm sorry
It's been a while Since I've seen the way the candles light your face
It's been a while Since I could hold my head up high and it's been a while since i said

i'm sorry .
Staind- it's been a while.
funny how someone else's thoughts starts a new day and beginning for you.

Monday, July 19, 2010

maniere sit in die boom

one thing i have learned about these Turks are that they are exceptionally rude. and for some reason very sour.housekeeping especially. i was sitting on my bed having a fag when a Turkish woman with a white and yellow uniform slammed open my door and started shouting at me in Turkish. well if this is the game we are playing i might as well shout back in Afrikaans.

whenever they start speaking to me in Turkish i rant off in Afrikaans. dis mos nou so mense. and so the housekeeping entertainer war started. with us walking all over their sheets and them not cleaning properly. so guess what mom i know now how to clean a house (or room ) and fold my clothes nicely...booya.
oh yes and you remember that nice white towel . yes.that is sticky cola all over it.

natisha -1 housekeeping-0

Sunday, July 18, 2010

a turkish picnic

it has been a long disastrous week. Monday starting off with me and my dance partner falling flat on our asses in front of a whole crowd. and it was only the second number . we had too get through a whole show together. no ,i was not happy and yes ,i was cussing him through my teeth. but he did previously apologise in his Russian accent after. so all is forgiven. then we had a children's show where i was dressed in a luminous green and yellow penguin suit - yes- playing a "curious penguin" do you know how much water you loose in such a suit when it is 28 degrees at night? and the week ended off with me almost scuffing a broom up a Turkish doos's ass. he told me too shut up. and as you know i do not respond well too people who hush me inappropriately.

my legs are still the same and not healing properly.





so this day off was much needed.after a long bus ride we arrived at a picnic spot in Alanya. and it absolutely took my breath away. idyllic.it was in the mountains with streams and waterfalls.





i was not brave enough though too get into the water , if i want cold water i will go swim in cape town. but all in all the day was a good one . filled with reading, eating and normalness for a change. the days are starting to get long and the nights very lonely.but i calm myself with memories of Africa and what is waiting for me back home. a new job ,a new life too start, a new dream. the song inside my heart can make dreams come true and i will be singing that song "uit volle bors" once again soon.
so i leave you with this..
we don't know where we were before we came too this world . we don't know where we will go once we leave it. some say we'll grow wise if we contemplate this mystery. perhaps though we will just go crazy. forced with the inexplicable how can any of our actions have a purpose? does it matter if we do what we want? give up whenever we want? but it does matter. when we respect eachoter and show compassion and sensitivity we become kind and wise. and that gives our lives meaning.

Friday, July 2, 2010

Some say love, it is a river
that drowns the tender reed.
Some say love, it is a razor
that leaves your soul to bleed.
Some say love, it is a hunger,
an endless aching need.
I say love, it is a flower,
and you its only seed.

It's the heart afraid of breaking
that never learns to dance.
It's the dream afraid of waking
that never takes the chance.
It's the one who won't be taken,
who cannot seem to give,
and the soul afraid of dyin'
that never learns to live.

When the night has been too lonely
and the road has been to long,
and you think that love is only
for the lucky and the strong,
just remember in the winter
far beneath the bitter snows
lies the seed that with the sun's love
in the spring becomes the rose.
bette midler- the rose

a little alanis for the heart..

You'll rescue me right?
In the exact same way they never did..
I'll be happy right?
When your healing powers kick in

You'll complete me right?
Then my life can finally begin
I'll be worthy right?
Only when you realize the gem I am?

But this won't work now the way it once did
And I won't keep it up even though I would love to
Once I know who I'm not then I'll know who I am
But I know I won't keep on playing the victim

These precious illusions in my head did not let me down
When I was defenseless
And parting with them is like parting with invisible best friends

This ring will help me yet as will you knight in shining armor
This pill will help me yet as will these boys gone through like water

But this won't work as well as the way it once did
Cuz I want to decide between survival and bliss
And though I know who I'm not I still don't know who I am
But I know I won't keep on playing the victim

These precious illusions in my head did not let me down when I was a kid
And parting with them is like parting with a childhood best friend

I've spent so long firmly looking outside me
I've spent so much time living in survival mode

This won't work now the way it once did
Cuz I want to deside between servival and bliss
Now I know who I'm not
I don't I still don't know who I am
But I know I won't keep on playing the victom

These precious illusions in my head did not let me down
When I was defenseless
And parting with them is like parting with invisible best friends


These precious illusions in my head did not let me down
When I was a kid
And parting with them is like parting with childhood best friends
Alanis morisette- precious illusions.