a james bond attitude.

i am scared. it has been established.
also the reason why is that i will be getting on a plane Sunday 21 March to depart to turkey.
.alone.
a black swan- it is beyond the normal realm of human expectation, it is unusual and peculiar. this is what 'alone' means to me. not so much that I'm a "hang on my mommy's dress" kind. I'm just very fond of human emotional contact and reassurance with a holding of the hand or even just a face. if you tell me where the light went , I'll tell you where it's from. yes alright i sometimes do have the backbone of a newborn rodeo star, but this is a big deal. and once again i got myself into trouble. the unknown. onseker. onstabiel.onsteld. ons-ons onder n boom.
watching a documentary last night of the boy who's skin fell off - a line that he said jumped out at me and caught me by the balls- that to accept what's to come you finally have to say goodbye.

thinking not just in the situation that I'm in , but also in relasionshits, in life, even in selling a home or a dream, this is played by everyday.

so Sunday i will hold my head up high and i will get on that plane ready to work. i presume i will be having a hangover though from drinking the night before. i hope. that will make it easier. so for all you bastards out there who'll miss my face? get skype.

(yes, i am crying while writing this. bugger off)


Desmond has a barrow in the market place
Molly is the singer in a band
Desmond says to Molly girl I like your face
And Molly says this as she takes him by the hand.

Obladi oblada life goes on bra
Lala how the life goes on
Obladi oblada life goes on bra
Lala how the life goes on.

Desmond takes a trolley to the jewellers store
Buys a twenty carat golden ring
Takes it back to Molly waiting at the door
And as he gives it to her she begins to sing.

In a couple of years they have built
A home sweet home
With a couple of kids running in the yard
Of Desmond and Molly Jones.

Happy ever after in the market place
Molly lets the children lend a hand
Desmond stays at home and does his pretty face
And in the evening she's a singer with the band.


And if you want some fun, take obladi blada.

the Beatles- Obladi oblada