part of growing up to do..

There comes a time in one's life where you have to make a grown up decision. 

By grown up, it means it will not be easy and it will not ensure comfort or gratification by doing so.

 But it is the grown up thing to do? what bullocks. Please can someone explain to me what the term "grown up "actually entitles? 

Does it give you the right to leave a new wife home alone up until early morning hours? 

Does it entitle you binge drinking like a teenager?

Does it entitle you to own a car, a cell phone and treat everything else like an object that you own including people?

Does it entitle you to hurt, break down and make people feel like they are made of glass?

Does it entitle you to expect and want? 

To break promises you made before God and yourself?

Does it entitle you to never apologize for anything, ever?

Standing with your open hands and never thanking the people coming back regardless of what has been said or done?

Watching someone crashing from the high you created?

Does it give you the right to break someone’s heart? How cruel is kindness?

Desiring everyone’s attention, but denying affection?

“Tell me where was my fault in loving you with my whole heart ?”

Crush a student in front of a class, because YOU MADAM, YOU SIR. YOU ARE THE GROWN UP...

I’m sure you are getting my idea? Before you coin the term "I am a grown up" in your all holy state of mind. Maybe you should look at the devastation around you.

Take in the moment you became a stranger.

 You, who call yourself a friend, a lover, a husband, father, mother, sister, teacher, mentor...

If I knew at 10 years old, what I know today, I would want to stay a child forever. Climbing trees. Seeing the bright side to everything. Just staying on that cloud 9 as long as possible.

But if “grown up” is this. Then I would gladly rather go and sit in the kiddies corner and be able to look at myself in the mirror in the mornings, and still be proud of who I am, My heart and what I am made off...

the moment you said it.

Sometimes there are some things that stick to your heart like a Velcro vested little bird, and no matter how hard you try to tear it loose, it opens the scab it's covering everytime.


"The moment you said it
The moment you opened your mouth
Lead in your eyelids
Bulldozed the life out of me..

I know what you're thinking
But darling you're not thinking straight
Suddenly things just happen we can't explain..

It's not even light out
But you've somewhere to be
No hesitation
No I’ve never seen you like this
And I don't like it
I don't like it
I don't like it at all

Just put back the car keys
Or somebody's gonna get hurt
Who are you calling at this hour?
Sit down, come round, I need you now
We'll work it all out together
But we're getting nowhere tonight
Now sleep, I promise it'll all seem better
Somehow in time


With no hesitation.."

imogen heap- the moment i said it.
 lyrics altered by Natisha Lieka van zyl.