always and ever the same.

I have come to notice that the more you miss your family the more you start taking on some of their personality traits. nannies coupela. i is not lie.
i first began to notice this when i fiercely started cleaning my room every second minute ( my mother is completely anal about being organized.) NR.1.

NR 2 came when i starting fearing balloons. yes plain kiddo balloons because when they burst next to me . near me even 250 km away from me i wet myself instantly.
( my dad hates balloons and fear them more than spiders)

NR.3 i am starting to not give a shit about what people say or think of me and when they do me wrong i open my mouth and voice my opinion until it is decides that i am after all right in which ever matter. always. ( and this one is definitely my very stubborn sister)

and then theres still the me who picks up lost abandoned kittens. birds . dogs . well almost anything i can love really.
mahali meet everyone. everyone meet mahali full name "kalahari".

she just jumped out of a bush one day and started biting my feet. it was love at first sight. during the day she stays with security and i go and feed her there ( who knew that the Turks actually have hearts.)and at night when i finish working i fetch the little bundle and she sleeps next to my ears and purrs like a tractor. of course i did give her a good wash first and cleaned out them ears.

and every morning at 6 i get up( when she starts biting my chin ) and go and leave her to play outside in the trees. where security watches over her. she really brings me joy with her personality and cheekiness.

i have made amazing friends. companions and i can even understand a little portugeuse now. when i need cigarettes there is always a bobo near. when i need someone to party with and laugh with there is always a jessie near. someone to throw me around in the pool- lukie.

i have come to love you all.

NEVER A DULL MOMENT IN TURKEY,SEVEN SEAS.

a turkish story

the scene opens with a string quartet playing with a soft fluit fiddling around in between the notes. you spot a girl standing in a golden Charleston dress complete with headband and fishnets and while she stairs into the dark convention centre she wishes the world would just stop for a moment. because emotionally she cannot anymore. she is too tired to realize when she is hungry. too tired too realize when she's alone or thirsty for that matter. so far this story has been a hard and brutal one . filled with not only afrikaans and English swear words. you do pick up alot when you listen.

then again when a Brazilian tells you your fat would you actually listen too a dark kroes kop tosser who thinks the sun shines out of is pula ass. phew got that out so now i feel better.

i threw my cubboard out of the window the other night . it kept falling on my head. and i just did not have the patience anymore. whoops. i could hear my moms voice in the back of my head actually.

and now whenever i feel frustrated i just thow sheize out of the window.
I've been scratching myself in the night so my bed in the mornings look like I've had a fight with a moerse mosquito and lost. badly. and Turkish housekeeping ain't really a fan of us so i have learned to steal sheets every second day and make my bed all shiny and new. biatches.

this job has it's perks though. i have had the opportunity too swim in the middle of the ocean while eating watermelon on a boat. we went paraseiling . (you have to do that once in your life) and some days are really good . filled with a little sunshine and laughter. speaking about sunshine it gets up to 50 degrees in this place so the Ukrainian oameni are half brain damaged every daY. if you cant handle the heat get out of the kitchen i say. but the routines are getting a little boring . i am not German nor Russian but i use this to my advantage if i don't feel like speaking to a horny turk i just reply "no englease . priviette. Russian" . yes i am a bitch like that. i even showed the finger too a photographer when he called me German for the umpteenth time and thought it funny. not so funny anymore now are we?loo loo loo i've got some apples loo loo loo you want soe too?

i miss a real live house. one with a stove and a television blaring out load and a dog going out her mind. the smell of butternut and cape town combined on a Saturday.

been listening too miss shakira's "Africa" over and over. when it plays I'm the only one on the dance floor with Germans staring at me like I've had too much too drink... well i will bite though. that requires no use of illegal substances. i am strong.

You're a good soldier
Choosing your battles
Pick yourself up
And dust yourself off
Get back in the saddle
You're on the front line
Everyone's watching
You know it's serious
We're getting closer
This isn't over

The pressure's on; you feel it
But you got it all; believe it
When you fall, get up, oh oh
And if you fall, get up, eh eh
Tsamina mina zangalewa
Cause this is Africa
Tsamina mina eh eh
Waka waka eh eh
Tsamina mina zangalewa
This time for Africa

Listen to your god; this is our motto
Your time to shine
Don't wait in line
Y vamos por todo
People are raising their expectations
Go on and feel it
This is your moment
No hesitation

Today's your day
I feel it
You paved the way,
Believe it
If you get down
Get up oh, oh
When you get down,
Get up eh, eh

Tsamina mina zangalewa
This time for Africa
Tsamina mina eh eh
Waka waka eh eh
Tsamina mina zangalewa
Anawa aa
Tsamina mina eh eh
Waka waka eh eh
Tsamina mina zangalewa
This time for Africa

shakira- it's time for Afrika

my hart is in afrika.

Toe die wêreld hier nog jong was en die horison wyd en oop
Was dit groen hier in die halfrond, suid van die ewenaar
En in die skemer as die son sak en die beeste huis toe loop
Klink die roepstem van die vrouwe oor die heuvels van die land:
Halala, ewig is ons Afrika.Tula tula mtanami, tula tula sanaboni, tula tula mtanami,Ubab uzobuya sihlale naye, ubab uzobuya sihlale sonke, Hmmm-Hmmm
Toe kom die skepe uit die weste, wit seile oor die see
Om te vra vir kos en water en te bly vir so veel meer.
En die land wat een tyd oop was, die land het ons verruil
Vir die ghetto’s van die stede is ons koperdraad gegee.
Halala, ewig is ons AfrikaHalala, sasiphila, kamnandi, halala, mayibuye AfrikaTula tula mtanami, tula tula sanaboni, tula tula mtanami,Ubab uzobuya sihlale naye, ubab uzobuya sihlale sonke, Hmmm-Hmmm
Daar was rykdom in die maag van ons moeder Afrika
Diamante en ook steenkool, goud, edel metaal
En die mense word die slawe hier want die mense word betaal
Om te tonnel in die aarde elke greintjie uit te haal
En die groot en oop grasvlaktes span dit toe met doringdraad
En van die olifant tot die gemsbok al die diere moes kom buig
Voor die mag van die grootwildjagter voor die mag van sy groot geweer
Totdat net die stilte oorbly, totdat net die stilte heers.

Halala, ewig is ons Afrika.
Halala, sasiphila, kamnandi, halala, mayibuye AfrikaSasidjapolutjoloythina
Halala, sasiphila, kamnandi, halala, mayibuye Afrika

never fear when brufen is near.

so yes. all was going well. too well indeed..

i was bollywooding a little too much and shaking my hips in a trance when i felt the all familiar pain stinging up my right leg.

i managed to land myself in a turkey hospital on an x-ray table in my underwear. and they are not particularly polite with "please mam take off your pants" it's sommer they take it off for you..can we at least have coffee first and get to know each other?jeeze people..

with my ass hanging out in the proses of a sonar,i have never felt so vulnerable and exposed in my life. but at least it's only a minor injury, or in my head. it's a soft tissue tear. witch means it's a tear in my muscle..im all patched up and drugged up on brufen, cataflam and what nog.so a few days rest and I'll be as good as new..i hope..

hold thumbs because being confined in a little hotel locker room thing with only Turkish channels the whole day?.nein.

ich schpreuken di deuch..

okay so After a few weeks in turk land i am happy to Report that i am alive and well..well sort off. i have never in my life heard so many variations of my name or surname "van zul" being one of them.with the work load being ridiculously hard and the Temperaturen variating from extremely cold to unbearingly hot i am coping as well as can hope for. except that my blog is nou in turkish and i have to master german in the next month.

the food is unbelievably good, with cinnabuns and coffee in the morning. boxes of cigarettes and a few spagetti's here and there while doing some shopping.. i am amazed by the diversity. the diffrent languages ,cultures and beliefs. our dance captains consists out of brasilians,ukranians and russians. there is a communication barrier that you cannot believe and playing charades has become the norm.
or speakings broken the english, dah?

i am being mistaken for a russian almost everyday and have heard the question "from Africa? but why you not black"? countless times. no i do not ride on an elephant to school and no i do not have a pet lion in my back yard boet.

our days consist out of getting up in the morning at 8hoo for breakfast dancing from 9:30 till 12:30 breaking for lunch untill 14:00 then dancing untill 18:00. after that we have a sort of team building effort at 21:00 untill 23:00 there after bed and believe you me it is fucking amazing to get under a duvet and getting off your feet. on saturdays and sundays we have a german course from 9:30 untill 1:30 and dancing from 15:oo untill yes ,you guessed it 18:oo. i now now the meaning of ADD. to make matters worse the german teacher does not understand a word of english and can only speak turkish or german. with almost 11 languages translating and shouting over eachother words get lost in translation for example "seosons of the year" comes out the other side as "time of place".

It is a beutifull country with some amazing landscapes. although we are so close to the sea. you never smell or hear it like in South-Africa. i miss that. and the turks are very much greasy and has the dirty look going. and i must say, God bless skype for without it i would have been a wreck. i even speak to my dog.


some days are good and some days are bad. trix taught me t "dance deur die pyn" with a andre schwarts move.

but we all speak the universal language of dance, and it is amazing to see how it is all coming together. we are bollywooding the shit out of everyday and i have learned how to used my hips and to co-ornitate like a professional.


i am having the time of my life with friends whom i love and laugh with everyday.and learning some ukranian on the side. priat nava apetita. im sure you can figure that one out.

for now it is al wedersein.and guten aben from my side.

Domestic violence.

i have landed. after a gruelling 13hour flight to Istanbul and an hour flight to Antalya i am sitting and blogging from the front stoep of Kemer's Magic life.

i have dehidrated myself with crying. up to the point where my face and hands were sticky with salt.i felt the Cape town sun on my face for the last time as the plain turned and watched the hood go by.

but enough of that. i want to speak about something that is more important than me, you or any coountry.something that i do not begin to understand or accept in any way.

"she loves him. he is the father of her child. and yet he picked up a knife and stabbed her in the back"
familiar? it happens more than you know.

i am dedicating this blog to woman who takes abuse everyday. emotionally and phisically. you need to stand up and fight. let your voice be heard. you need to send the bastard on his way before he takes your preciuos life. that's so worth living. Alcohol or drugs are no excuse. it is an easy way of blaming something else. a coward's way and mentality.

i dedicate this to every woman whom has had to lie about that blue eye in the morning or that broken bone for the upteenth time.

i dedicate this to every woman who has lost her life defending her child.

leave before he leaves you for death. you are worth so much more. Ask for help and you will be supported.
you need to realize he will not change.no matter how many presents. flowers or over seas trips he books. the monster will always be hiding inside waiting. wanting. needing.

just because you are not affected does not mean it does not happen and you can turn a blind eye. it is your job as a friend, a mother, a sister to do something. October is domestic violence awereness month. start thinking what your part will be.make a diffrence in 2010.

He who takes away your dignity. your humanity and self worth does not deserve second or third chances.

STOP VIOLENCE.